Wednesday, January 9, 2008
My writing sample
Welcome to my writing sample. It is the only sample of my writing in existence, as far as I know. I have samples of many other things, like wallpaper. I'm supposed to decide which one is best. I don't know how to decide. If I did I would have done so by now. Color is one aspect of the choosing. Another is texture. Still another is pattern. What would go well with the room in which I plan to paper the wall? How is this room used, and by whom? These are questions I should be asking myself, but my preference is to sit quietly in the half-bath and file my nails as I wait for the century to blow over. Sorry, I meant storm of the century to blow over. I get the strangest cravings as I sit here. I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. I think about it so much that I am never without the heebie-jeebies. Sometimes I impersonate Veronica Lake so well that people swear I'm doing Constance Ockelman. And that, my friends, is my writing sample.