Saturday, May 31, 2008

Back in Terre Haute for a wedding. This keyboard really sucs. I's so freaking hard to type. Yu have to punch the hell out of he keys to make the letters appear on the screen. I really should typ more slowly, but now I've decided that this appraoch is more fun. It's been man mnths since I've had a real keybard to type on, excpt for the one at work, where I don't feel comfortable typing fas because I'm worried I will draw attention to myself. Not that I would gt in trouble, ony mean that I don' want my co-workers to know that I hav a blog. The don't know much about me and that's the way I'd like things to say.

It's thundersotrming right now in Indiana though it's tapering off around here. I'm not the type of person who turns off his computer when it storms, not that there's anything wron with you if you do. This fucking keyboard! Actually, I'm surprised theren't aren't more typos occurring as I write this. It seems like I'm making a lot of them but when I look up at the screen I am pleawsnaly surprised to find that the keybard is apparenty abe to figure ot what I'm trying to say most of the time.

Saw Indiana Jones tonight. I enjoyed it and I know better than to compare it to the old movies since those were importat to me as a child, and when something is important to you as a chld it takes on significance tha no later revival of a franchise can hope to replicate. I haven't been reallng happy wth anythign from the worlds of Star Trek or Woody Allen since 1999. The last Woody Allen movie I liked completely was Sweet and Lowdown, the last Star Trek thing I liked completely was the final seasos of DS9. I mean I liked DS9 all the way, but the last season was '99. I am worried about the new Star rek movie. New actors playing younger versons of old characters is not something I okk forward to.

If ou're reading this blog for the first time please know that I am not a Trekkie who types bad. I mean I do like Star Trek but this keybard is bad! The word keybard keeps coming up keybard! I actually type very well and usually not about Star rek or any other science fiction TV shows. Most of the time I d't even type much in the way of prose on this blog since my laptop was stolen in October. haev an iPod Toch but it's really hard to type with thumbs, espcially when they're as big a sine. Not to ive you the wrong idea—my thumbs are not freakishly large ro somethng, like Uma Thurman's in that movie about whatever the hell is was abuot—I didn't actually see it. I do know that it's basd on a Tom Robbins book. I've never read a Tom Robbins book. I keep thinking hes the motivatonal speaker with the big head who appeaars, or used to, on TV infomercials (informaton commercials).

I think I'm thinking of Tony Robbins. There might be just one 'b' in that name, I'm not sure. But it's probably too. Holy jeez. I can' believe I just typd too when I meant two. I can't blame that on the keyboard.

As my plane was landing I looked at the skyline of Indianapolis and right next to the gigantic throw-pillow-resembling Hoosier Dome, there wa a gargantuan structure that looke sort of like a cathedral without a steeple. And it was BIGGER than the freaking Hoosier Dome. Which is freaking huge. It's because of sports stadia (not a typo there, it's the plural of stadium) that i am not impressed by cathedrals. The first cathdral I ever set foot inside was the Cathdral of St. John the Divine. Unfinished, huge, and impressive in its own way, but theres no way a Super Bowl could ever be held nside it. Just not enough seats. The league would freak. Just imagine. Some NFL bigwig or bigshot suggests holding Super Bowl in cathedral. That would be the day. Well don't worry, t woudn't happe.

They're having the Super Bolw n this Indy monstrosity in 2012. The last Super Bowl ever, since the end of worls, according to some people's interpretaion of Mayan predictions, will hapen in December 2012. It's something I worry about ess and less the older I get. I'm also learnigto worry less about asteroid impacts, gamma ray bursts ad the Yellowstone caldera. The freaky thing about a gamma ray burst is that it would kill everything on earth, but inanimate objects would be unaffected. Buildings, cars, books, traffic lihts, flagpoles, objects of al kids, would be left behind to a dead world. Fortunately the odds of a gamma ray burst are extrmely rare. The bad news is, if it does happen, we will get no warning, and even if we did have warning, it wouldn't matter, because there would be no way to dfend against it. There is hope of defending against asteriods and meteors. The bad news is, there is no hope of diverting a comet. Comets are just way too fuckin' fast or big or...hmm...can't reember what the problem is with comets but I know they're much worse than astreoids.

Don't get me started on the Yellowstone caldera. A caldera is basically the lid of a huge-ass monster thng called a super volcano. If it blows it could wipe out half the U.S. and bring abuut human extinction (worst case scenario). I think it blows once every 600,000 years, and guess what, it's been 700,000 years scne the last time. Overfuckingdue, we are. But...

It's still pretty unlikely to happn anytime soon, so try not to worry about it. Hey, when did Mike Doughty gt all mainstreamy? That's the kind of things you should worry about, if you're goignto worry abuot anything.

Once again, before I end this post, I'd like to point out taht I am typing on a very bad keyboard. It's making me look like a moron. I am not, I repeat, I am not, in fact, a moron.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I have never seen a citizen resemble a celebrity more exactly than a woman on the train this morning did Cate Blanchett.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Cognoscenti is a word I heard on the radio while dressing. It was pronounced correctly and without difficulty by the WQXR announcer. Cone-yuh-shen-tee. Minutes later I was on the train. I opened an issue of Verse to the first poem. One of the words in it was cognoscenti. I was surprised to encounter such a foreign word twice in the same morning.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

"Travel Plans" is a Leslie Monsour remix.
I disagree with this statement: "The only thing better than a Wilco song is a ten-minute Wilco song." Sorry, Cheryl Waters.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The girl who rang up my wrap today, her nametag: FUTURE.

Friday, May 16, 2008

13.4% of Goodreads users believe that Sylvia Plath and John Updike were lovers.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Jim Noir. Oh my god. So good. Find and listen. Jim Noir. Self-titled album. Oh god. So good.
Fun reading last night—Matt Hart, Chris Martin, Amanda Nadelberg. A bar in Brooklyn called Pacific Standard. I wandered up and down Park Slope's 5th Avenue a little bit beforehand since I got there early. It only took thirty minutes to get from Atlantic Avenue to 96th St. on the 2 coming home. I thought it would take longer.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The other day I received my prize for a contest I won on the Omnidawn blog. It's Martha Ronk's In a Landscape of Having to Repeat, and it's the best prize I've gotten since the car stereo speakers I won for perfect attendance in high school one year. Thanks Omnidawn!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Robert Rauschenberg 1925-2008

The preceding poem is a Joshua Mehigan remix. I daresay it's an improvement. Is it mean to do this? Yes. No.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Would somebody please tell me what all the insane honking and yelling and music going on for the past hour is about?

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

No hot water this morning. No warm water. Ice-cold water only. I got my hair wet with ice-cold water, matted it down, shook my head back and forth, toweled it off, shook my head, matted it down. Eventually I came to resemble something like a human.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Tried to go to Anne Carson/Graham Foust/Misty Harper reading tonight, but the place was so crowded I just turned around and left. Stupid bar was one of those long skinny ones. Second time that's happened to me there. (11th St. Bar, between A and B.)
I'm on Goodreads now, but I have to say that I rarely read books people recommend to me. I have way too many to read already. But I don't know anyone on Goodreads, so I guess I don't have to worry about it.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Whenever I get an idea for a blog post, I think, wait, why waste that idea on a blog post? And I try to write a poem instead.

The more comfortable I get with poetry, the more impossible I find fiction-writing, which should be easy.

It sucks not having a real computer. I'm typing this with thumbs.

All the ideas in this blog post are boring because I would save any good ones for poems.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

I guess these April poems have been "drafts", but I think they're as done as they're going to be. I don't care about making them better. If they're no good after the initial work I did, no amount of revision will make them good. Why worry? Just write new ones. No big deal. They're like disposable contacts. They're just poems, not final exam blue book answers.
Am I missing something, or isn't all comedy based on irony? The little twist that goes against logic and makes you go Ha. Isn't it irony every time? If you're anti-irony, don't you have to be anti-comedy? How can you like comedy, humor, funniness, if you don't like irony? Am I misunderstanding what irony is? Am I missing something?

Hey, I don't like every single story that appears in McSweeney's, but this righteous crusade against them is just dumb.
Remind me not to read n+1.