Friday, August 29, 2008

Right-wing troglodyte quote of the day

A braying jackass who calls himself "McCain LUVR" had this to say on a CNN.com message board:

"All of these cackling hens need to take some Midol and relax. McCain's pick will not sway you today, but you will listen to Mrs. Palin speak for the next four months, and by the end of that run, most of you will see that you associate with Sarah Palin more than you ever did with Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, or Michelle Obama. That is the genius of this VP pick."

On exactly how many levels is this comment a paragon of idiocy? I've lost count...

(By the way, don't anyone tell this moron that the election is two months away, not four. Maybe he'll miss it!)

A Question for Madame Governor









Do you consider the act pictured above to be...taboo?
As of this morning I'm halfway done with Hallelujah Blackout by Alex Lemon. I'm trying to decide whether to call it after five innings on account of not caring. I was just never into it from the beginning, and I really don't feel like reading any more of it. But if I stop now, do I count it as "finished" (as far as my ten-book pledge is concerned)? I want to say yes. I mean, I'm past the halfway point. If it's good enough for baseball.... There's a difference between not finishing a book because you're lazy (this is what I'm trying to defeat with the ten-book pledge), and not finishing a book because you really would rather not be reading it. Yes. There, I think I've successfully talked myself into a workable rationalization.

One down, nine to go.

If anybody in New York wants a free copy of Hallelujah Blackout by Alex Lemon, you now know where to find one.
I'm also more than halfway done with

The Opening Question – Prageeta Sharma
A Wave – John Ashbery

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Life, art...
Jeez Louise people...is there not one young lefty capable of being optimistic for like two seconds?  If you don't think the guy can win, it's less likely he will.  For fucksake enough with the jadedness already.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

From the Department of People Are So Fucking Stupid

Okay. A news story. The headline: "Wife blasted for keeping Edwards affair secret". The gist: some Democrats think Elizabeth Edwards's keeping quiet about John's affair was "self-serving", "naive", and "no less a sin than the one committed by her philandering husband".

From the article:

"'I think she's complicit,' said Brad Crone, a Raleigh-based Democratic consultant. 'Obviously, she knew. While she's the victim, she clearly didn't stand in the way of the cover-up.'"

Excuse me? Fuck you, Brad Crone. The "cover-up"??? You mean, a married couple choosing not to reveal intimate details of their personal life? Fuck that. Cover-up is a word that should be reserved for things that actually matter, things that are actually relevent to other people's lives. The idea that politicians cheating on their spouses is relevent to other people's lives is a right-wing bullshit myth you are buying into, Brad Crone. Fuck you and fuck any Democrat who helps perpetuate right-wing bullshit.

I really, really, really hate Democrats sometimes. The spineless Democrats in Congress during Bush's reign are almost as bad as he is. I'm starting to remember why I voted for Nader in 2000. (I won't do that again; I'm just saying.)

Fuck this. This isn't a political blog. Political blogs are boring. I need a Coca-Cola.

I'm a nice person.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Saturday, August 23, 2008


According to my self-reported tally on Goodreads, I am currently reading 106 books.  Some of these are not actually in my possession—I've checked books out from libraries and turned them back in before I had time to finish them.  Did I mention I'm a slow reader?  I don't even go to the library anymore.  My reading habits are not conducive to its policies.  And vice versa.  At the NYPL the borrowing period is three weeks, and you can renew three times.  So that's...let's see...twelve weeks.  A/k/a three months.  People, three months is the blink of an eye for me.  It takes me at least twice that long to read a typical novel, sometimes up to a few years.  I should start a reading movement called Slow Reading.  Or SloRe for short.  Maybe not.

I am now seven pages in to the fourth chapter of Sentimental Education.  I'm still reading Chester's Exquisite Corpse.  I'm still reading DeLillo's The Body Artist.  I'm still reading Denis Johnson's Already Dead.  I'm still reading Harry Mathews's Cigarettes (which I keep wanting to call Coffee and Cigarettes because of the Jim Jarmusch movie and because of the cup of coffee pictured on the cover!).  I'm still reading The Floating Opera.  I'm still reading scores of poetry books.  Yesterday I bought two more.

Yesterday I bought an incredibly amazing (you're hooked already, aren't you) book called Hagiography by Jen Currin.  She lives in the nation of Canada.  You will find a representation of the book's front cover at the top of this post.  Here is one of the poems:


FINALLY, WHO IS HERE WITH US?


A man hits his granddaughter with a sock.
We are sinking deeper into the muck.
I stand on one foot like a duck.
All the cats follow me
across the gravel like sugar thieves.

So the wire bird abandons writing.
I give up
my plastic mouse.
The apartment lobby choked with incense,
red leaves piled at the door.
A donkey who loves to drink wine.
A little piece of yellow paper
for your mother on the Sunshine Coast.

I keep falling off the table. What do I know.
Erotic ideals. Orange and a slice of pie.
What do I know. The sun leaves me.
All the children I know are me.

In the desert we go barefoot and pregnant.

Finally, we reach the seventh day.

Finally, we reach the eighth sister.

Silence, I wish you sounded more like rain.



*****

What'd I tell ya?  Incredible and amazing.  Yesterday I also bought The Tennis Court Oath.  I've read it, but I hadn't gotten around to buying it because I was waiting to find a used copy somewhere.  At least two years I've been looking.  Two years gone by in the hope of saving, like, seven bucks.  Dummy.  So I caved in and bought a shiny new one.  It's a book that serves as a pretty reliable reminder that it's okay to break rules and not make sense.  Y'all should hear him read "How Much Longer Will I Be Able to Inhabit the Divine Sepulcher..." on PennSound.  For a small taste of a big poem, here is section 39 (out of 111) of "Europe":

The few children
Seeds under the glare
The formal tragedy of it all
Mystery for man—engines humming
Parachutes opening.
The newspaper being read
Beside the great gas turbine
The judge calls his assistant over
And together they try to piece together the secret message
       contained in today's paper.



*****

So, here's what I meant to say when I started this post.  I pledge that I will not buy a single book until I have finished ten that I'm currently reading.  I thought of making a pledge like this a while ago, but I really just had to buy these two books first.  The pledge starts...nnnnnnnnnnn......nnn...nn...now.  No, now.  Now!  Nnnnnow!!
The proposition that all politicians are alike is something I believed when I was 18.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Surprise.  Sort of.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Trampoline!!!

Not until tonight did I have any idea that trampoline is an event in the Olympics.  Why did I not know this before?  I swear to Jebus I have never seen a trampoline competition when I've watched the Olympics.  I remember doing trampoline when I took gymnastics as a kid, but I didn't know it was an actual apparatus.  All this time I've been thinking it was just for practice or exercise or something.

WHY
DID
I
NOT
KNOW

that trampoline is an Olympic event?  I've watched the Olympics since '92 and I simply do not recall ever seeing a trampoline competition.  I'm gobsmacked.

My mind?  Consider it blown.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

IU Olympian

So last night I was watching the Olympics and they showed this person, whose name is Christina Loukas, whose sport is diving, whose school is IU.  I watched her do some dives, and they were pretty good dives, and I guess she's still in it because of those dives.  She's a good diver.

Friday, August 15, 2008

It Has Come To This

I lack two things: health insurance and shame.  Thus, I ask you gentle readers (especially those of you who are medical professionals), does this look infected?  It has looked a lot worse, but it comes and goes.  I have been told that I have psoriasis (on another part of my body)—could this be the same thing?  Does it look familiar to anyone?  That orange-ish dot up near the nail is part of it—it ain't no freckle.  There is sometimes a clear, gooey secretion, and it itches when I touch it.  (I try not to touch it.)  Believe me, I wouldn't bother you with this if I could be like a normal person and go to the doctor.  I've already been to the doctor for a couple of unrelated reasons this year, and I'm not paying $100 to have someone check out a little toe rash.  Someday, I hope to have health insurance.  Until then, "Does This Look Infected?" may become a regular feature of this blog.  Thank you for your time, and for your vast medical knowledge.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Went to a reading last night.  Meant to go to one today but it was early, I woke up late, and the trains were fucked up as usual on the weekends.  Ended up going to a movie.

If someone tells you to write every day, don't believe them.  Why write if you know it's going to be complete fucking garbage?  Might as well do something useful like go to a movie.

Went to my favorite coffee place and wrote some garbage, did some reading.  It was raining.  There was a pretty girl there.  There were a couple of other girls talking in Swedish or something, who the hell knows.  If you think I'm going to tell you the name of this place, forget it.  It's really small.

Pretty much the only reason I write everything on this blog is to get people to like me.  It's getting pretty boring.  Poetry is stupid.

I haven't applied to any jobs in at least half a year.  I've been out of college four years.  I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do.  Starting to really regret ditching that Maurice Manning workshop halfway through the semester.  Sorry, Maurice.  I'm so stupid.  One time a student was concerned that a poem of mine was "insensitive" to widows (it was a somewhat primitive Google poem using the phrase "widow blames"—I thought I invented this technique; only years later did I learn about flarf), and Maurice said to her, "You don't have to be sensitive to anyone in a work of art."  That was pretty cool.

He was nice enough to let me audit his workshop—this was after I'd graduated, so I'd simply promised to do the work and show up even though there was no grade at stake.  But I got tired of critiquing other people's poems—I've always hated trying to talk about art like that; I'm just not smart enough or well-read enough—and I felt bad that I wasn't keeping my promise, so I just stopped going one day without telling him.  That was pretty stupid.  He's a good teacher.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY... JEFREY...WITH ONE...F...JEF...REY...

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Strunk & White, suck on this:

From “It’s Not Acceptable to be Fatso”, by Aase Berg:

“… I hope for poetic expressions that are aggressive, baroque and esoteric; I prefer ridiculous and embarrassing to perfection. On the literary market, which is dominated by the aesthetic and social ideals of the upper middleclass, it is unacceptable to be excessive in any way – one adjective too many and you’re out. There’s a stubborn cliché that the sober, quiet and elegant, the so-called “simple” is categorically more informative than the noisy. The fleshy, screamy and overdone, the vulgar, desperate and pathetic are so taboo in our culture that there must be dog buried in the phenomenon.”

She's Swedish, and she has a book called Mörk Materia. How cool is that? That is a cool-ass title. In English it just means "dark matter", but it's still cool. As dark matter itself is cool. As Hanny's Voorwerp is cool. All astronomical phenomena are cool. With the possible exception of brown dwarfs*. Nah, just kidding, brown dwarfs, you know I love you.

*A brown dwarf is "a celestial body with insufficient mass to sustain the nuclear fusion that produces radiant energy in normal stars, believed to have formed with enough mass to start nuclear fusion in its core, but without enough for the fusion to become self-sustaining." (Thanks, Answers.com)

Felt like using an asterisk there. Not really necessary I guess. Sue me. Sue my skinny white unnecessary ass, Strunk & White.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Earth girls are not sex voorwerps

In space, however, it's cool to be a voorwerp. Especially if you belong to Hanny.

Read about Hanny's Voorwerp here.

Now if you'll excuse me while I go update my Netflix queueueueueueue.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Occasionless Celebrity Tribute

Because some celebrity tributes just don't need a reason. I guess. Why not. I'm bored.


Robin Weigert, you have five movies coming out this year, and you are currently filming two that are slated for release next year. Slated is a word I learned from TV, probably. You might be my favorite Deadwood person. You are a graduate of Brandeis. IMDb tells me little more than this.

Here's to you!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Chapter 4 of Sentimental Education is a long-ass chapter.  I read the first seven pages of it last night during my walk down Riverside Drive, which, in this part of town, seems to be separated from Broadway by a continent or other large landmass.  What I'm saying is, they're a lot different, those two streets, even though they're close together.  I ended up at Nussbaum & Wu, a place that reminds me of the Bakehouse.  I drank a coffee that was the size of two coffees.  Later I used a Starbucks bathroom without buying anything.  It's fun to stick it to Starbucks in this way, but then, you don't want to stick it to them too much, because if Starbucks disappeared, the number of public restroom opportunities in Manhattan would shrink to a critical level.  Kind of a paradox...

Friday, August 1, 2008

Have you ever tried this product called Sweet 'n' Low? You put it in coffee. God it's disgusting. Today was my first and last encounter with artificial sweetener. If it's not black, it's not coffee.