THE SOMETHING SOMETHING PRINCE
An atavistic sandwich sidled up to me
On the eve of my ascent to the English throne.
The timing struck me as suspicious.
I felt somewhat lackadaisical
For the rest of the day.
I decided to leave town.
To parachute from a plane
Into a desert named after a famous Baltimore Oriole
Seemed like an honest goal.
Lucky for me,
Eddie Murray himself talked me out of it.
These days I can be found with my pants down,
My philtrum waxed, my orbit declined, my strap-on
Buttered, my concerns addressed, my address
Concerned, my small arms trained
On my one true love—
May her file be forever up-to-date.