Some of my best friends are billionaire space-tourists . . .
Next up, we hear from a man who eats his own garbage!
Sandwich artists rarely have literally thousands of
good T-shirt slogan ideas. "It's chilly in here,"
said no one ever. "Is a window open somewhere?"
Every store in town is fresh out of context.
Ever think of offing yourself? Default to factory settings—I prefer Perry Como to Bing Crosby . . . sometimes.
Armed to the teeth with old saws, the cutest among us
have all gone loco—who cares how we motivate our hair
when we have the means to employ
ancient astronauts in our entourage? I mean,
you could at least try to see my nut in a virtuous light—
it rewards us with rapture via 1080i clarity.