Sunday, October 5, 2008

Who is pretending to be me???

Holy shit.  Someone just wrote this about me online:

"The Panthers got off to a great start moving the ball effectively, but four straight penalties had them facing a long-yard first down attempt.

Forced to throw deep, quarterback Matt Walker was picked off, which led to a Saints’ touchdown."

My name is Matt Walker, but excuse me, I am not a quarterback!!  WTF??????  I've never even played football!  Unless you count flag football!  When I was in kindergarten!  Which I didn't even understand at the time!  Much less enjoy!

I did not get picked off!  I'm telling you, I DIDN'T FUCKING THROW THAT INTERCEPTION!

Who can I sue???????????????


  1. There's even another Mark Lamoureux who is a raging neoconservative marble counter-top salesman in New Hampshire.

    If we ever meet in person, the universe will most likely explode.

    CR--that's the best name ever! Do you not like A.A. Milne?

    In college there was this guy who changed his name to Trout Fishing in America. Richard Brautigan, of course, was dead and unable to sue him. Though if having no imagination is a crime, then Mr. Fishing in America would probably be behind bars...

    What I really want to know is, can I sue myself for emotional distress?

  2. It's obvious you are who you say you aren't. That is, a quarterback. Denial no more!

  3. Last time I checked, I share my name with a high school aged gymnast... I'd love to trade places. :)

  4. Come on! What are the odds of an entirely different biological entity to you being called Matt Walker? I mean seriously. Do you know how many different ways those letters can be rearranged? 10 to the power of 10? Or something...

    So just accept Matt, mon ami, that you threw that goddamn interception, ruined the whole game for the Panthers, and get on with it...

    Sue me.